April 28th, 2009

many tears are falling today
but it feels right, its a relief.
im not losing my hope
just feeling the pain that comes and goes with reality.
even in my weeping i feel strong
life will go on, my faith will carry me along.
some moments are overwhelmingly painful
while some are full of joy.
to love and to have lost is better than not loving at all,
so i am told.
but im afraid to love.
im afraid to grip this life
only to say goodbye.
but what a relief for this perfect child
to miss so much pain on this fallen world
what more could i hope for than for him to be free?
it seems selfish to keep him here with us.
what would he wish for?
what would his dreams be?

September 9th, 2009

into my arms they placed you so i could love your life,
i will treasure every breath you breathed with me that night.
there was so much purpose in the short time you were allowed
you brought me joy, you brought me peace, in those moments somehow.
but my heart was slowly breaking to watch you while you slept,
i knew that time was ending and you would not wake up.
things were rather peaceful as we saw the setting sun,
fading into the night just as you had gone.
although the tears were dripping as we laid you down to sleep,
we loved you and knew the lord your soul will keep.

July 2010

How can I feel abandoned when I taste you in my soul?
nothing in this life is hidden from you,
you hear what I've never spoken of myself.
Though covered in scars... I am awoken to your embrace.
How can I be afraid of what I have become?
You make all things new. 
Incomprehensible love, how can this be?
Nothing is more true than truth, even if I do not understand.
Oh God, never release your grasp on my heart. 
I will not give up until I know your freedom 
down to the deepest depths I cry.