i dont think it is really an option not to trust God in this situation. there is nothing we can do to change this on our own. the only thing we can do is pray and hope for a miracle. and if God for some reason doesnt choose to heal our baby then we can still trust that he will be with us and carry us through it. good can come out of it somehow i know it. some has even already. i cant say that i wont get discouraged sometimes or that everyday is going to be the easiest, but when is that ever the case anyways. sure doubt and fear will creep in and cause me stress but i definitely feel that we will be able to carry on and still have give love and experience joy and share hope and find peace no matter what.

thank you for all your comments and emails, they have been so encouraging!