we got a call monday morning from my midwife. three days after our last ultrasound. she sounded urgent and said that she wanted to see justin and i as soon as possible. i started shaking and knew that something obviously was wrong. when she told me what it was i could barely breathe. i was sobbing and clinging to justin. from what they could see in the ultrasound our baby has short limbs and too many fingers and toes. which could mean many things. my heart was racing and i was experiencing so many emotions all at once. we scheduled an appointment at the swedish medical center to have a follow up ultrasound with a specialist as soon as they could see us.

wednesday at our follow up appointment we watched and waited as they looked at every possible part of the baby. from what i could tell things looked the same... but we werent sure if there were more things wrong until the specialist came in to review the results with us. she measured the lungs and heart several times again and justin and i both looked at each other and knew something else had to be wrong. she said that he has a rare condition called skeletal dysplasia polydacty. the survival rate is very low and even if they survive it wouldnt be for very long.

i had never seen justin cry before , it was very hard for us both to hear this.

we are doing fine at the moment but have no idea how life will look like from now on. knowing this and being pregnant for several more months is going to be challenging. of course we are hoping and praying for a miracle but also trying not to get too attatched. we know that whatever happens God will be our strength and bring us out of it stronger and wiser and better people because of it. it certainly isnt going to be easy, but life will go on.

we certainly want to engage in normal every day life things and friendships and keep moving forward. if you see us please dont avoid us or keep a despair face for our benefit. we are experiencing many emotions and one of them amazingly enough is joy. so being your normal selves would be best!

we thank God all the more for our perfect amazing beautiful boy and girl he has given us and couldnt ask for more. our life feels full but empty at the same time.

please keep us in your prayers, we need the support of everyone around us.

feel free to leave a comment or an email, but we understand if you dont know what to say.