Today was a hard day. There are so many hard days ahead, I just know it. The body aching, head aching, nausea, the tired heavy bones dragging me around. Today felt like the longest day of my life... and it only has just begun.

Trusting God doesnt mean I won't let some tears fall. They are here, they came with the rain clouds. The pain was just too much to bare, I had to let it down. I am not alone, don't worry, I know that for sure, I am not safe but I am saved. not because of what I have done or what i can possibly do or could think to do. However, I am His. No matter what I may go through, I know where forever will land. Jesus holds me tighter every day, he gently holds me so that I can stand. There may be pain, but he never lets go. Never. Its hard. I'm not saying it is easy. No. Not in the least. But I know He holds the future, even when I cannot see. God is still good. God is still God. No matter how much life can suck. Its yucky and gross and it certainly doesn't ask politely to ruin our fun happy party of a world sometimes. Life happens and we must hold on to Jesus. nothing else is for sure.