Just thinking about going to my infusion appointments brings on anxiety and nausea. I had to go in today for a nurse to check my arm. Some of the Drugs leaked outside the vein and caused a slight infection. So creepy! They recommended getting a PORT put in so that they wouldn't have to poke my vein each time. I refused. I have only one more of these injections and am hoping to get through them without any more complications. 

At My most recent appointment I asked my doctor what he is thinking about the next step. He suggested 12 more weeks of a different treatment not quite as intense. I was shocked. Justin and I do not remember anything of that sort being suggested to us. We both were under the impression that after this fourth dose we most likely would proceed with radiation or surgery. This news made my stomach flip and made the entire infusion session much less tolerable. Although I did manage to distract myself with watching Breakfast at Tiffany's. Justin always brings his laptop and they have a whole library full of books and movies to use while we are there. 

Obviously the decision is mine and I don't have to do anything that doesn't seem right, but at the same time I want to get rid of this disease and move on. More chemo... the last thing I want to do ever. I would take surgery over that in a heartbeat. But that just isn't quite possible since there is that cancerous spot behind my chest wall that is not removable with surgery. 

On a positive note, the nausea was tolerable this week! I felt better than the past two times. We changed the medications and that seemed to work! 

On another positive note, A sweet couple in our neighborhood stopped by our house tuesday evening to invite us to thanksgiving dinner. We weren't sure how I was going to  be feeling this week and were planning on staying home since our families were out of town. But that was so thoughtful of them and worked out great. We had such a lovely time and I enjoyed everything she had made to eat! My appetite was back! Just in time! 

Our Christmas tree is up, the lights are on the house and a fire is burning in the fire place and angelic voices are singing in the background... Happy for this holiday season that has arrived. Thankful for my beautiful amazing special chidren, overwhelmed by my wonderful sweet husband, I have honestly been on the verge of tears just thinking of all the blessings in our life. Thank you Jesus for loving us.

And thank you friends and family who are so faithful in your prayers! We are so blessed by you all. God bless your lives!