joy and frustration
so i have been somewhat irritated lately. i had so much motivation yesterday, it lasted a whole five minutes though.because dahlia decided to be a fussy baby all day and i didnt get anything done. it isnt like i have this big agenda and to do list everyday, but i do try to do something when i get a few minutes here and there. if all i end up getting done is reading the Bible, then that is a success! i love having dahlia around and she is the joy of my life, well besides my husband! but it is hard when she wont stop screaming and there is nothing i can do about it. nothing! she doesnt calm down when you pick her up sometimes..... she is so upset that she cant calm down! i cant tell if she is just being a bratt or actually something is wrong and she is frustrated. the other night she wouldnt calm down for a long time so finally i just laid her down and gave her a washcloth to hold and left here there..... not even 30 seconds later she was calm and asleep! a washcloth! nothing else would do... but a washcloth! that is so funny! seriously people dont waste your money on all those toys and chewy stuff.... washclothes do the trick, oh and she loves our hands. she will just stare at them and play with them for a long time. and hair too. justin puts his head close to her face and she just loves it! it hurts a little when she rips a few out, but how many hairs do we really need anyways(=
we are both looking forward to disciplining her as she gets older, it actually sounds fun. sure it will be work and be stressful when she doesnt listen and i have to repeat myself 50 times..... or as bill cosby says... children are "brain damaged" you ask them a simple question and they look at you and say " i dont know!" i remember being like that when i was little. i didnt want to get into trouble so i said "i dont know" thinking it would make me look innocent (= i think trying not to laugh at my child is going to be harder than trying not to yell! discipling her will be llike teaching, and since we both like teaching, it should be a fun learning experience for all of us.
(= having another baby soon sounds appealing to me finally. i thought i wouldnt want anything to do with that at all after having dahlia. things were so different and i was always exhausted i thought never again! besides the first birth went so well that it could only get worsethe next time, right?! once she is a year or so i also didnt want to have to go through all that again! getting up 4 times a night, staying up with her for hours at a time.... sleeping in till 3 in the afternoon! getting mastitis! didnt sound like fun at all till now... ok it still doesnt sound like fun, but having a tiny baby around is so wonderful! i am already starting to miss dahlias infant stage... she is getting so much older and bigger!!
furthermore there are so many children out there who dont have familys and i wanted and still want to help them. but also dahlia needs a sibling. you learn a lot from having brothers and sisters. we dont know when we will be able to adopt, it may be ten years and that is too long for dahlia to wait for a family. of course getting pregnant again will be depending on lots of things like; money, where we live, time of year... i dont want to be nine months pregnant in july!!! my body has enough trouble in the heat as it is, i cant imagine going through a summer about to pop! having dahlia in january was great! so hopefully it will work out that way.... but if not, that is ok!
regarding heat... my body can barely handle when it is hot or when it is cold. is that normal? are most people like that? i get so dehydrated when its roasting and nearly pass out, but when it is really cold i am miserible and cant get warm..... i am just to tempermental? am i just a whiner? or is my body just sensitive? it sounds so trivial, but it really is unbearable!
Jerika on Jul 26, 2006 5:00pm
you are so silly!
gwen on Jul 26, 2006 5:00pm
well i guess i am, she still is an infant, maybe i am sad because she is growing and that means she will be out of this stage soon, so i am missing it already even though it isnt gone yet(=
rainbow on Jul 26, 2006 5:00pm
i'm not minding the heat at all, but i have this connection to it ever since india, i love the hot and humid. However, i am pretty silly when it comes to liking things because they're nostalgic...
i'm pretty sure the early years will be much easier than the teenage ones... teenagers just make me laugh all the time, but i'm sure laughing at Lavinia when she tells me some problem that she thinks is totally rational is a bad call:)
Tammie Mabry on Jul 26, 2006 5:00pm
I enjoy reading your posts and hearing about how you are doing and about Dahlia (I love her name). I also find great entertainment and smile reading Jasons naration on her section. I assume its him writting it. He does a good job!
Tammie
jacquelyn on Jul 26, 2006 5:00pm
actually i usually write most of dahlias entries(= but i am glad you like them!