why are so many christians afraid to follow jesus? is it because he will convict them and point at sin in their lives and they will have to change? i dont think we can separate "change" from christianity. that would be convenient though, we could still get to heaven and keep on being sinful and proud and unforgiving and angry .... but that isnt how it really is. doesnt being a christian mean that we follow jesus? that we want to be like him and love other people? doesnt it mean that we change from our sinful desires over to his? arent we striving for holiness and humbleness and love? why do we resist conviction and ignore correction from those around us?  

i hate the burden of being a slave to sin. it is so heavy and hurts my back. i cant stand wallowing in my own misery and being the same as i was 5 years ago, it just makes me sick. i just want to get rid of this sin and selfishness so that i can be used like he wants me to. the less of myself that is in me, the more room for him and the more of him in me, the more holiness that i can radiate.

i dont know who else i would pursue if i didnt follow Jesus. the world has failed time and again to be the hope that i need or the comfort for my weary soul. how can we push him aside and follow ourselves when we know that that leads us nowhere? are we afraid if we actually follow Jesus that people wont like us? that they will find us judgemental and hypocritical? well the world hated Jesus so they arent going to like us either , but it shouldnt be because we are judgemental or hateful, it should be simply because their own sin holds them back from the truth. 

if we arent growing closer to Jesus and changing on a regualar basis then we need to ask ourselves if we truly love God or just want to go to heaven.