i used to draw a lot in high school and in my early 20's. i was always in an art class at school so that is probably part of the reason. and i was very depressed so i liked to write poems and make pictures often. i submitted a self portrait in a school art show but i cant find it anywhere, when i do i will post it. since high school i have gotten into other creative things. i feel so alive when i use that part of myself. i just get inspired going into artsy coffee shops or funky places, anywhere really (= so i thought "hey i am creative person and love all the arts i am sure i would be good at something other than drawing"... i tried theatre and was a total embarrassment! i forgot most my lines cuz i was petrified and left the stage after muttering some nonsense! yikes! i also thought dancing would be cool, but that was a joke! i mean i can freestyle or whatever to music, but when it comes to taking lessons i cant do it. i was a mess! i tried singing though and that went pretty well.... i have gotten really into crafts and decorating the last few years and that is a lot of fun. but i miss drawing! i loved drawing faces! that is what i was known for. there are so many artistic things you can do with faces. anyways all that to say, i would like to get back into drawing and i am writing this so that i will have to. so if you dont see me post a picture in the next month that i have drawn then ask me about it! hold me accountable (=

the first picture below is one i drew in high school. i dont know how old i was exactly, but i wasnt the happiest at that time. (= the second is a little girl i drew about the same time. and the last one is the most recent face that i started to draw in 2003 but never finished it. i drew a picture of my friend chris in 2004 and i cant find that one either, but when i do i will post that one too. maybe i will make a link on the side of this page where i can put them all.

anyways ask me about my drawing in october!!

 

 

 

 

i think i am afraid of commitment. but not in the way you might think.

when i go shopping i agonize over the decision if i should buy something. and then after i purchase it i keep thinking, "is this what i really want?" so when i get home i dont take the tag off and keep it around for a few days or so until i am totally sure that i want to spend my husbands hard earned money on it (=  

i was reading this and i couldnt stop laughing! it might not be as funny if you dont have kids though. 

 

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette :

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and

wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell

or you see it sagging to their knees.

______________________________________________________
Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
________________________________________________________
Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where

you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________ ________________________
At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't

squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and

demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

i love being with my babies! they are both so sweet and fun. i never would have imagined i would ever feel this way a few years ago, but it is true... i love mommying (= everything they do makes me happy! it is crazy. i started singing "you are my sunshine" to dahlia a long time ago and i would change the words to say, "you make me happy all the time" instead of "when skies are gray". even when she is throwing a fit because she wants more banana or when she keeps wacking valen in the head, i still am happy that she is mine and that she is learning and growing and i get to teach her how to be a beautiful woman of God! and i get to be her mom for the rest of her life!

she is so goofy and playful, all she wants to do is play play play and then some more playing... oh ya and eating in between. she LOVES to eat! she will not stop unless i take her out of her chair and totally distract her, she just wants more and more even when she is stuffed! just recently she started liking the foods we eat. it is so nice to just make more of what i am eating so that she can have some. but when i am eating things like carrots or granola she doesnt understand that it isnt something she can have. she never seems to want my spinach salad though.. hmmm (=

when i am trying to lay valen down for a nap she will follow me around the house carrying books or toys (noisy ones) and wants me to play with her.. it is so cute, but annoying cuz she is talking really loud and is two steps behind my every move. but he is getting better at falling asleep even though she is talking our ears off, so that is nice!

whenever she falls down (which is a lot) she always wants me to smooch her owie. she will barely stub her toe and then get up on the couch to show me, then she tries to stick it in my face, a little awkward when i am feeding valen but still adorable!

she LOVES changing her clothes! multiple times a day she will bring me something from her dresser drawer and want me to put it on her. she is such a girl (= she also takes her clothes out of her dresser and will sometimes throw them over the gate into the kitchen... that is where we throw her dirty clothes so i think she thinks she is helping.... just helping me have more laundry to wash (=

Valen is sweet and cute in different ways of course. he loves it when i smile at him and talk to him, it makes him giggle and smile back! he loves it when dahlia gets in his face and talks to him, he giggles at her too! she is always touching his face.. pointing out that he has eyes is her favorite thing right now. when she gets excited she will hit him in the head while i am feeding him, sometimes leaving a mark )= but he doesnt usually notice.. well he doesnt cry anyways.

when i hear him wake up at night, sometimes it is a cry but most of the time it is just noises, it is hard to get out of bed, but then when i pick him up... i am so happy! he is so snuggly and precious i just dont seem to mind anymore after i see his cuteness (=

he is 2 1/2 months now and has changed so much from day one. we are so glad to be over the beginning stage! and by the way justin is a WONDERFUL DAD!!! 

i remember having to take a typing class when i was a freshman in high school. (14 years ago! ) i did not have any desire at the time to try to keep my hands on the "home row" and not look at what i was doing. so i didnt. i refused to type the correct way and still managed to pass the class.. i just wasnt interested in getting to know a box named qwerty ....

when i was about 21 i would use instant messenger a lot to talk with friends and i hated how long it took me to type out a sentence, so i made myself not look at the keys and keep my hands in position... after a few months i was typing 70 words a minute..... but i didnt include apostophes and capital lettering.. oops! so to this day i dont make an effort to capitalize and use apostophes and such... but i was pretty impressed with myself when i was able to type so fast! all that to say i never liked computers or people who were so into them that it consumed their lives!like playing video games for 3 days straight or your best friend being a mouse...... i vowed never to get involved with a guy who had any interest at all... (kind of extreme i know) but i really was serious! so when i was friends with justin i pretty much ruled him out in the beginning because i knew he was interested in that whole business..... but i ended up marrying him anyhow (= and let me tell ya, i know more now than i ever dreamed or cared to know about computer stuff! i have sat in on some of his tech podcasts and actually found myself interested in them.... ahhahahhahaa that is hillarious! he just built a computer and made a tevo thing and told me all about it.... i told him i was at my limit of information about 2 minutes into the conversation, my brain only can process so much unwanted boring data at a time(=

i had a hard time in the beginning of our marriage because of the time he wanted to spend in front of the screen, but i was being unreasonable and just associating being on the computer with stupid boys in my past who had issues... but i also blame my emotional unstability in the beginning on "the pill" and "little italys" (= now i am much healthier and relaxed about all that crap and am glad that i know what i do about computers.

which brings me to one more thought.. it seems that older people seem to have trouble with us younger generation and all of our new ideas and thinking thoughts other than the "traditional". things progress and the old way isnt necessarily the right way... i just dont want to be an old grandma who is so stuck in my generation that i cant grow or learn anything from the youngins and their creative minds, i hope that i can related just a little to my children when they are older and not force old ways onto them...

if that made sense then i am glad, but if not, it is probably because i can barely see straight and it is way past my bedtime!

so i was just about to hop into bed and then i remembered my original thought that prompted me to write this entry in the first place. Elton John said the other day that we should turn off the internet for a few years so people will get out of their houses and talk with people..... now i dont know the context of that comment but i will still comment myself on it. i can understand thinking that the internet causes people to be less interactive and such, but as a mom i find it so useful.  when i have a concern about anything, like odd symptoms my children are having or how to get rid of a cankor sore, i just google it.... so helpful. if i didnt have the internet i would be running to the library all the time or bothering our poor doctor. i also have been doing a lot of shopping online. i dont get much time to go out right now so it makes it a lot easier to just look around and see what is out there before i go to every store. i would rather have a conversation with the sales clerk than ordering something from their website but in my situation it just doesnt happen that way. but i agree that too many people do spend way too much time indoors at their desks. anyways, i seriously need to go to bed!