when i think back from when i was junior high age.... i am so excited how much ive changed.... and of course physically ive changed but i mean just growing and letting life shape you. when i was miserible in high school i really thought that that was how life was going to always be.... id always feel alone and empty and depressed and stupid.. but that wasnt true at all. if i knew that that wasnt going to last forever i might have been a little more optimistic about life in general. sometimes you dont see how much you are changing while you are changing... but a year later or so its so obvious how things in your life were shaping you and making you stronger!

when i decided to live for God at about age 21 i thought that all my problems were going to go away... but they didnt. i think that God wanted to see if i would believe in him in the hard times and not just the times where i was happy... that is too easy to love someone when things are going well... kinda like a marriage. God doesnt just make your life all peaches and cream, that wouldnt make sense if he did. trials and tough times is what makes you strong and builds character.

there were constant battles at every turn it seemed. my lonliness was still there but so was God. i had to trust him anyways, even when i still was hurting. but hanging in there these past few years has been so worth it... if i would have given up i would have been going backwards and then it would have taken longer to go forwards again.... i had to trust God even when it didnt make sense. and now it makes sense. so i guess all i am saying is that you dont necessarily see what is going on at the time it is happening ... so if i just remember that from now on it makes for a lot less resistance on my part with God.

ok.........so this is another outrageous story brought to you by the bodeutsches!!

so i was at the lloyd center in portland today. i parked in front of sears for about 20 minutes while i mosied around..... when i came out to get into my car..... IT WASNT THERE!!! is this not the most outlandish thing you have ever heard !???!

i thought for a moment that i was actually going crazy or maybe having an out of body experience or something.... i walked around the parking lot just in case..... but it was really gone... yes this is the 4th time in one year~!!

first of all there is nothing in my car at all.... well two badminton rackets and a bag of trash and a baby toy in the trunk..... maybe soemone just needed a ride and didnt want to take the max... maybe they were low on cash.... maybe they thought it was there car.... or maybe they are just retarded... whatever the reason i am praying even harder than before that they dont bring it back, i mean its a good car and all but if someone really likes it that much .. just keep it!!!

i am sure you are wondering why we dont buy a club... well we were planning on it when we got some money... and maybe you are wondering why we dont sell it? well.... would you want to buy a car that has been stolen 4 times?

justin and i flew down to california this last thursday for our good friend venessas wedding. we were planning on driving but at the last minute i decided that it really wasnt worth it... that is such a long drive!! so we stayed with justins sister and her husband about 30 minutes from the wedding. it was nice! the wedding was beautiful and perfect! it really was my dream wedding. ive always wanted to get married outside in the summer!! venessa walked down the aisle to the same song i did, and me and justin were standing on the same side at the wedding. so i was holding his hand as she walked down to my song.... i couldnt help but cry, it was really cool... we really felt like it was for us(= they had dancing and delicous food too!! weve just never been to a wedding that meant this much to us. even though we hadnt even met the groom till we got to california, but he is a great guy!!!! i wish we had pictures but both our cameras werent working when we got there!!!)= it was nice to get a little mini vacation before i start work and then soon after have a baby!! yipee!!!

so i am about 10 weeks pregnant... for those of you who dont want to do the math... that is 2 1/2 months. before i was pregnant i hated it when people would refer to pregnancy in weeks but now i understand and that is how the doctors refer to time. maybe its because there is so much that goes on in just one week... anyways.....

since the first week of pregnancy i have been nauseas!! pretty much all the symptoms they speak of in all those books! constipation... cravings... smell sensitive.... motion sickness (in cars) trouble sleeping.. but not very moody or emotional... well except the other day i started crying when i normally wouldnt have. things seem to pile up faster and it can be too much all at one time... especially figuring out what to wear... i know that sounds ridiculous!!! but i hear its not crazy while you are pregnant. im just so uncomfortable that i cant wear half my clothes now so it makes it hard to get dressed (=

...so we dont know what sex the baby is until about 18 weeks... i dont really care if it is a boy or a girl... a girl would be fun of course...and no not to dress up in pink frills and lace but just because i am a girl and could relate better i am sure. but id like a boy first so that he can take care of his other siblings when they get older. my brother was older than me and my sister and i really liked that idea. also we dont want to space them out too far in age. my siblings are all 1 year apart and it was great growing up... we always had someone to play with. and then in highschool me and my sister hung out with the same friends. justins siblings are about 4 years apart... that was a little much he thinks. so 2 or 3 at the most... but im sure we will have to reconsider once we see what type of a child the first one will be. if its calm and easy going then, another one in 2 years wouldnt be so bad. but if its anything like justin as a child.... we might just tie the tubes and call the whole thing off!!!

Just like a faithful mule, the camry came back. Unfortunatly there was no damage to speak of. It did however, get towed half way to Gresham. The only thing they stole was a tiny bottle of perfume oil. This only makes your skin break out in a rash, so HAHAHA, the joke is on them.

We are now planning to use electro-shock protection to ward off would-be thieves. But seriously we are getting a club. And not the kind you are thinking either. Rather it's the kind you use when you hide in the back seat to surprise them.

All in all, it could have been much worse. So we are happy clams.

Until next time... help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered...