dahlia brings me so much joy!! i couldn't possibly exaggerate how amazing it is to be with her.... it would not be an exaggeration!! i just stare at her all day long and smile! she grows and learns and changes so much, so beautiful! when i am gone from her for a short time, sometimes even less than an hour... i am so excited to see her and have missed her so much. sounds ridiculous i know, but true(=
i never really wanted kids till a few years ago. after my sister had her first little girl, i was just so in love with her and wanted to see her all the time. she was so precious and beautiful i just couldnt not love her! i remember in high school saying that i would never have kids!! they were such a bother to me and all they ever seemed to do was whine and be bratty. which is funny cuz my mom loves kids and has worked with them for years. i certainly didnt share that same passion till now!
when justin and i first got married i was ACHING for a baby! every month i would cry when i wasnt pregnant... sounds absurd... but it was just such a big desire of mine that it hurt when i couldnt follow through with it, even if it wasnt best at the time. have you ever wanted something so bad and when it didn't happen you were sad? same here......i almost felt like i had lost a baby even though i never had one in the first place. furthermore i was going through a very emotional time the first few months of marriage so i am sure that contributed to the distress.
i remember a lot of people thinking it was a bit early to be pregnant since we had only been married 4 months, but it worked out fine for us and we are happy it happened that way. of course if we hadnt gotten pregnant we probably would have taken a nice long trip to hawaii this past summer. Which we will have to reschedule for some time in the next four or five years. (= but we really have no regrets and in no time there will be another sweetness to adore.... i dont know if we are going to be able to handle it! we can barely contain ourselves with dahlia!! (=

ok, so disregard my recent comment about my morning sickness not being very bad. Let me restate, it's HORRENDOUS!!! I even feel sick in the middle of the night and i can't go to sleep! What if i'm having twins?! What if it's triplets and that's what's causing me to be sick all the time!?!?! We'd have to build a spare room for my mother to move in. Seriously. I mean, I know the chances are really slim, but it could happen, there could be two or more fetuses floating around in there... but we won't know for two months. Or maybe I just have a bad case of morning sickness. but what if!?
So far I've had some cravings and they don't go away until I get what I want. I've had this hankering for coconut cream pie for like a week  and everytime i talk myself out of it cuz it would be a waste of money to buy one piece at sharis and total gluttony if i got a whole pie(= the funny thing is that i told my mom tonight about my craving and she just made some a few days ago... i was totally going to call her when i was craving it and ask her how she makes it... but then i thought about how much work it would be to try to whip that up and it didnt seem worth it.  so yesterday i bought a maple bar, which was mighty tasty but did not quench my craving! ahhhh, it is making me crazy! i am totally making some tomorrow!!! oh yes and i am always craving pickles... i wonder why a lot of pregnant women crave pickles.... maybe the saltiness?? after all i am a female and females are known for cravings anyhow, but seriously when i am pregnant they are the worst!! does anyone know what i am saying?!!? and could someone please give me some coconut cream pie!!
and as far as smells and such that make me nauseas..... justin's chapstick once again is a no no..... and trying to do the dishes (isnt that convenient) makes me nauseas if there is any food in the sink! even just going into the bathroom makes me want to puke! and oh yes, if justin even mentions eating a turkey burger i gag! so funny!!
ok one more thing... long story short..... a year and a half ago we went to gustavs late at night with some friends. after eating there i started feeling sick..... an hour later i lost it... literally! about 18 times to be exact....  so lets just say i am never ordering pasta alfredo from there again! well for justins birthday this year he wanted to go there. i ordered something different and immediately after i ate it i started feeling sick (i am sure it had nothing to do with the restaurant either time ) a couple hours later... lost my dinner once again..... i dont know if it had to do with the pregnancy this time, but i think i am going to call it quits with german food,(not that pasta alfredo or fish and chips is even german!) auf wiedersehen!

i have only been pregnant for 5 weeks, but the doctors count back since your last menstral cycle... so that would make me 7 weeks.... but there has only been a little baby in there for 5 weeks, and that is what i think counts...... it makes sense that the doctors do it that way because most people dont know when they ovulate so they have to go with something concrete.... but some of us know more than they think(=

so i had my suspicions that i might be with child.... i took a test a few weeks ago, but i think it was too early to detect... so i tried again a week later..... i woke up at 4:30 am to dahlia crying and went straight to the bathroom as normal (i pee a lot at night) i was so tired that i forgot to take the test. as soon as i finished my business i noticed the test on the counter and made myself sit there until i had enough to get a sample..... i didnt see two lines at first( might have been because my vision was blurred since it was the middle of the night!) but then i looked again, and i couldnt believe what i was seeing... i mean i thought that i was pregnant but until i saw it i wasnt truly convinced. so weird. so i picked up dahlia and went in and told justin that there was a baby inside me... he said(in a tired groggy voice) "hooray, that's great." when i came back to bed after feeding dahlia he says, "next time you get pregnant, can you not tell me at 4:30 in the morning"... uh sorry honey(= i didnt want to take it then either, but since i thought of it i couldnt have possibly have gone back to sleep and wonder if i was.... anyways, when we got up the next day we were  very happy and dahlia was too(=
So if any of you remember my first pregnancy... I had BAD morning sickness! not so much in the morning necessarily but just all day long! it didnt last too long though, i think it was about week 12 (4th month) that it got much better, which was very convenient since i started working that month as well.
This time around i was feeling just fine, but then this past weekend i began to feel a bit nauseas. i thought maybe it was just cuz i was super tired or something i ate... but no..... it is in fact morning sickness once again. Only this time it isnt quite as bad. I dont actually feel like i am going to throw up, but just in a constant state of queeziness most of the day. we were grocery shopping yesterday and i bought a ginger ale and it seemed to help. (ginger ale is supposedly helpful for morning sickness) maybe ill try the capsules instead.. much cheaper.
Last week dahlia was SUPER cranky.... but it was because she was getting her top teeth in and that also was causing her nose to run away. I am so glad she got that out of the way before i started feeling gross, it would have made things a little stressful trying to make her happy and keep me happy too(= the only thing that keeps her occupied and entertained for a long time is her go-kart. but only if she is in the kitchen and so am i... and if i am not feeling good i really dont want to be in the kitchen! so this is going to be an interesting couple months....
oh by the way i am 5 weeks pregnant! and we are very excited! we are looking forward to dahlia and the new baby being close in age. sure it might be a little tiring chasing them around the first couple years, but i am sure it will be worth it! furthermore this couldnt have happened at a better time... i am due in may.. right before it gets too hot! woohoo!  funny thing  though... i  just have been able to fit nicely back into my old jeans and now i am pregnant (= oh well i dont really like them anymore anyways!