I have never had surgery before. This was the first time and I was a bit nervous. Not about the pain or recovery, but mostly about being aware once I am in the OR. CREEPY! I went in armed with my princess Leia hat and my xanax... I remember them wheeling me down the hall towards the OR and I wasn't scared at all. I kept thinking, "I should be panicking right now, but I don't care... weird." Then I woke up. They were right, anesthesia works! I think I had seen too many of those ER mishap shows back ten years ago when they showed them in big blocks...remember those? all the worst case scenarios were running through my mind! (: I was so happy when I woke up and it felt like 2 seconds. That is amazing!!

Dr Fay is the best and I am so happy we worked with her! I felt so comfortable being in her hands and her capable team. She said everything went so smooth and she was extremely happy with the results. I went in to see her today and recovery is going great too. Even from the first day I didn't have much blood loss at all. During the surgery they said I only lost 5cc's! 25 cc's is very low for the surgery so we were shocked when she said that! We even got the drains out earlier than expected because I had hardly any blood loss continued through this week. It was so minimal almost ridiculous. Very thankful for that!

Justin and I are so thankful to have reached a decision together regarding treatment. I didn't want to be rushed into making a decision based on fear. I am feeling at peace about this next step. Surgery is scheduled for this coming monday morning. After talking with the surgeon this week and addressing all of the questions and concerns, we are taking the most beneficial least complicated approach. She is so great and I am so so happy to be working with her!! 

Today I talked to my doctor about the amazing MRI results! The tumor is 1/2 the size and the lymph nodes showed negative! So so excited about this news! Thank you for your prayers and support! 

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 

 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

So I decided to postpone yet another treatment. After reading more about this specific drug and the success rates, I am skeptical. I haven't seen my doctor yet about the MRI and I was hoping to do that last week. I don't want to do any more treatment until I feel mentally ready. I am certainly not there yet. 

Still physically feeling great! Actually feeling quite normal. I am remembering though that the normal before #@$% wasn't all that good. (: HOWEVER, much better than during #@$%! No icky nausea which is the worst. 

Today we are getting ready to have a little party at a local cupcake shop with Dahlia's friends from school. Celebrating her 6th birthday! Pictures to come soon!