There are some nice benefits to being a baby. For example, I never have to walk anywhere. I get carried everywhere I go. It's a pretty sweet deal really. Even better than this though, is kicking and punching. I can punch or kick anyone I want to, given that they are within five inches of my person. I just lie there and pretend I'm sleeping or whatever and as soon as they get close, BAM, foot in the ear. I know that I have to enjoy this while it lasts, I hear that it's uncouth for older people to just walk up to people and take a shot at their nose. But for the time being, why don't you come on over and try to give me a little kiss, there just may be a surprise for you.

 Up to this point, my life consisted of three things: sleeping, eating and crying. It was ok, but I've stumbled upon another exciting activity, playing. It all started a few days ago, I woke up from a nap, I was done sleeping and I wasn't particularly hungry. I didn't need to poop and there wasn't poop in my diaper. So I decided that I would just lie there. Then I figured that if I wasn't doing anything, I might as well make it interesting. I'll admit that I'm not the best at fun yet, but I'm learning. So far I just flail my limbs around. I'm thinking about learning to use my fingers next, there are all kinds of things that look like they would be fun to hold. After that, who knows, the possibilities are as endless as my mommy's milk supply.

I know it's a little early to be worrying about this but I'm concerned about my figure. I've been gaining weight at an alarming rate. When I was younger I looked so much better. After looking through my pictures I'm disgusted by the huge fat rolls on my legs! Considering that I can't stand up, it's really hard to exercise my legs. Mom is worried that I'm bulimic, maybe she's right, I do throw up every time after I eat.
    The worst part is my head. Mom measured me the other day. My head is 14 inches and I'm 21 inches long. GOOD NIGHT! I'm two thirds head! Could you image if you were two thirds head?!? No wonder I can't even lift it up for more than a second.
    I'm not too worried, Mom says I have inner beauty. Even though I've never seen my insides, I'm sure she's right.